wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
