the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
