Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
