Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
