So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
