Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
