I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
is wine microwaveable?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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