Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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