Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
