she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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