Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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