Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
