I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize