I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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