You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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