apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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