Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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