How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
