apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
