Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
