Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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