Do vagina's smell?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
