Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
