His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize