in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize