so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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