she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
