i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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