I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
