Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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