I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
