Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
