What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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