FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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