The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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