I look better un-naked...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
