I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
