So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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