One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize