So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
