all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
