why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
