Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize