i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
