We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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