u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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