I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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