the new term for farting is butt boxing.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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