Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
