Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
