Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
