can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
