It's Friday. Sex?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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