Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
