puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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