Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He did a backflip because drugs
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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