Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
