I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
