I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
