After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
